See You on the Way Down!

So in the next 3-5 days I'll be hitting my 4th weight-loss goal:  227 lbs.  Now that doesn't sound like much of a goal-like number, does it?  Usually it's something that ends in 00, or maybe the 1st digit drops by one.  Well my goals are generally determined by numbers that mean something to me; something that resonates in me as special.

So what's so special about 227?  It just so happens to be the lowest weight I've been as an adult. Somewhere in the late 80s or early 90s I was there for a brief moment, before celebrating with an entire bag of pizza rolls washed down with 4 cans of Dr. Pepper (this was before 20oz plastic bottles were widely available).

When I was a child, if you told me I'd weigh in at 227 one day, I'd have found it preposterous.  "I couldn't get THAT fat!"  8 months ago, the thought of 227 was something that seemed near-impossible to reach.  I might as well run a marathon without training.  I find it wondrous that the perception of being 227 could change so dramatically, even for the same person.

He might want to get that mole checked out

So you're probably wondering what my 1st 3 goals were, right?  Okay I know you weren't, but just humor me.  #1 was 290 - as stated on my DL (fucked up thing was, I was less than that when I had the pic taken...I knew I was going to balloon up);  #2 was 275 - what I considered my normal "walking around" weight (that's even more fucked up than my DL.  Who in their right mind would think that's normal?);  Goal #3 was 245 - stated weight on my 1st DL  (that was just a guess.  I know I weighed in at 240 as a 1st semester freshman, thanks to Mr. Carpino's mandatory wrestling class in P.E.  There were only 3 of us in the heavyweight division; finished 2nd).

Only when I hit goal #5 will I cave in to the popular "finally in Onederland" that is so prevalent on dieting forums these days.  In reality, it's just the end of phase I of my goals.  I'll have proven I can lose weight over a long period of time.  I'm on pace for hitting this about mid-November.  120 lbs in 13 months would be something to be really proud of, it my book.

So what is phase II?  How many phases are there?  I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU AND YOUR RAPID-FIRE QUESTIONS!  Sorry.  It's late, I have a cold, and bowled crappy tonight.  We were in 1st place, but we got killed in games 1 & 2, and I blame myself because I was running late and didn't get any warmup shots.  I did score some awesome deals on back issues at Maximum Comics #2 though.  OH YOU'RE STILL HERE?  LET ME CONTINUE.

Sean Bean will die a violent death as I near my goal

I have no idea how many phases there will be.  I'm no future planner type guy, surely that is evident.  But my hope is that phase II will be the time where I find out what my ideal body weight is. That is something that in my mind, everybody should know about themselves.  I have no idea.  For the longest time, as obese persons are wont to do, I'd say that I was big boned.  Yeah, nobody bought that.  A fat person will hope they're big boned, but the only skinny person who hopes for that would be an aspiring football player (American football, foreigners!*).

I'm going to assume that phase II will take longer and be more frustrating than phase I.  I usually hope for the best but in this case I'm very cautious - it's unknown territory from here on out.  I have in my mind that I could actually get down to 158 or so.  I really don't think I have that much muscle on me.  I can't bench for shit.  As much as I hope for it to be true, I don't think carrying extra weight on one's frame builds muscle.  I don't now nor ever have lifted weights.  I bought some nice dumbbells a few months back, but they still are yet to be unboxed.  I have some irrational fear that I will commence a program and subsequently injure myself, thereby curtailing all physical activity (golf, bowling, sexytime).

I really would love to hit 158 though, just so I could say "I'm half the man I used to be."  God that sounds so trivial.  I think I need therapy.  Anyway, at least at that weight, I'd most assuredly have no trace of my moobs, right?  Damn that would piss me off, to be ultra skinny and still have moobs.

*Foreigners, deep down Americans love you, we just have a hard time showing it sometimes.  We especially love foreigners like Gojira, Kvelertak & Graveyard.

All Quiet on the Western Front (including the area south of the airport)

Where have you been?  I waited and waited, for hours upon end.  No phone call, no text, no nuthin'.  It's like you just forgot I existed.  How do you get on in life by treating others in this manner?  Wait, forget it.  Karma is real and it's waiting for you.  Just keep on having fun, acting like you have no responsibilities to attend to.  One day you'll look back on your actions and realize you've been a jerk and wish you hadn't.

If my blog could talk, the above passage is what it would say.  And I can't blame it for being pissed.  I totally ignored it for the last 9 weeks or so.  I would love to give the obligatory "life got in the way" spiel, but we all know that's not true.  I guess it comes down to I like doing other things more than I like writing.  I would say I'm probably better at writing assignments for school or work than I am in writing hilarious (albeit unfocused) tidbits of literary gold.  Oh well, at least I'm not a ditch-digger.

Another thing that I am not, is one of those people who don't care about what they eat.  After 40+ years, I think I've had enough of that.  Now, I am in no way considered a health nut, not even close.  I am, by government standards, obese.  However, thanks to the internet, I am now only Class I obese, down from Class III in 2011.  I still need to lose about another 20lbs and I'll drop down into the Overweight category.

How did the internet help?  It helped me find the tools to accomplish what I was beginning to feel like was a lost cause.  I stumbled upon a website (Reddit, maybe you've heard of it?) that has a forum dedicated to low-carb dieting.  Now I know, many of you just shuddered when you read that last sentence (assuming I have readers).  Low carb, high fat (LCHF) diets are nothing new, but they are starting to gain popularity recently.

There has been some negative association with this method, mainly due to the Atkins corporation.  Dr. Atkins was the guy who came up with the idea to mass-market the diet, and when he died, the company he left behind kind of got away from the basics.  They just treated it like a money-making machine, and forgot about helping people at the basic level.  There has been some attempts lately to revamp Atkins, but so far it hasn't made any major headway.

The thing is, there are many doctors and scientists today who are turning their focus on LCHF.  I am not going to turn this post into advertisements for them; any of you reading this can obviously google things on your own.  These proponents are fighting an uphill battle vs. the long held notion (and government backing) that a low fat diet is the key to losing weight.  If that was the case, why is obesity such a rampant problem?  They've been shoving low fat down our throats for 30+ years, and we've gotten fatter & fatter.  Something is not kosher.

Anyway, I've had really great results in the last 7 1/2 months since starting LCHF. 84 lbs and counting.  That number is about twice as high compared to any results I've had on low fat diets I've tried in the past.  One reason for that is that I've been on LCHF for twice as long as any other diet I've attempted.  Usually at the 3 or 4 month mark, I'd fall off the wagon and return to old habits.  Why did I do that, if I had great results?  The reason is that eating carbs make you crave carbs.  When you do low fat, you are eating tons of carbs.  It is self-defeating.

In the past few months I've gotten many compliments on my progress, and I thank each and every one of you.  (Note to the ones who've not complimented me yet:  when I win the Megabucks and throw a huge bash, you will not be invited to the after party.)  And with these compliments, I am now receiving requests to divulge my secret.  I will be happy to do that here.  Go to www.reddit.com/r/keto and you will have access to the tools that have helped me and thousands of others.

Reddit forums are run by their users, so there is no one in charge; only people sharing information that helps all achieve their goals.  It really is a testament to what people can do when they come together.  Nobody is selling anything.  It's just a hivemind for all things LCHF.  There is a primer/FAQs on how to start, as well as 27,000 friendly, supportive folks who can answer most questions you may have.

Restoring the noble pyramid's good name, courtesty of redditor subignition.

If you're familiar with what LCHF entails, you'll know that it is comprised mainly of green leafy vegetables, meat, eggs, cheese and lots of full-fat products.  Much of it the USDA has been telling us to avoid for the last 40 years or so.  Well [expletive deleted] the USDA and their agenda.  They have been doing a disservice to the citizens of the U.S. because they are serving big business first.  Companies that make sugary food have money and influence, and the USDA serves their interests.  The whole thing is really akin to an oil company putting the kibosh on anyone who creates a car that runs on water.  They crush the little guy, to keep the profits high.  This is not to say the U.S. is the only country that has this problem.  Much of the world does something similar.

If you're still with me at this point, your brain is probably trying to retrieve information about LCHF diets right now.  The results it's returning is likely to include something like this:  THIS DIET IS UNSAFE! OH MY GOD, WHAT ABOUT CHOLESTEROL?!?  DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK?  I thank you for your concern, but there is growing research that finds cholesterol in itself is not bad for you.  Salt either.  The reason we have been taught those things is due to faulty research in the 60s that got adopted by the government, and it became law.

Okay okay, enough ranting for today.  Just do yourself a favor and check out Reddit.  Yes, there is more than one way to lose weight.  And plenty of skinny people eat carb-rich diets.  I'm just saying, for those of you who've failed by following The Man's diet, it's time to try something new.  It worked for me, it could work for you.