Well damn, first the bad news: Marc had to back out of going to our annual bowling tournament in Reno (on really short notice, I might add). Reason? Oh, just a minor case of leukemia. Inconsiderate, I know.
Marc Brubaker is my absolute all-time best friend (by a wide margin) and we've known each other for over 25 years. He's like a brother to me (except that I like him). He was diagnosed with Acute Promyelocytic (M3) Leukemia last Tuesday. Unfortunately, the night before, he suffered a hemmorhagic stroke that caused some bleeding in the brain, and has affected the left side of his body in an unfortunate manner. He can't move his left leg, his left arm is very weak, and worst of all, the vision in his left eye is impaired. It's like a third of his field of vision is missing, but his brain doesn't know it. It's a tremendously helpless feeling for both parties when he's looking right at you, but can't see you.
Marc is a home appraiser, and one thing he needs to do is drive to the homes to measure, take photos, etc. It's not yet known how his livelihood will be impacted. Hopefully there are some parallel types of positions that can utilize his expertise in lieu of mobility. Obviously the thoughts of the outcome of his recovery leaves a lot of questions and uncertainty. While visibly saddened at times, he's been very brave too, and is trying to stay positive. He's surrounded by good people; friends, family, and hospital staff.
I used to tease Marc about being a renter. He's lived in California for over 10 years, the same length of time he's been an appraiser. He does research on dozens of homes a day. Why is he still renting? Surely in all this time he could have found a home he would want and afford, right? I'd tease him about being afraid to pull the trigger. Of course, as things like this tend to go, he closed on a house just 2 weeks before his stroke. He was actually moving into the house when he passed out and was rushed to the hospital (thanks to alert movers!). The initial diagnosis was anemia.
After a few blood tests, the diagnosis changed to leukemia - pending a few final tests. Well, that compounded when the stroke occurred (originally the doctors said aneurysm. okay, raise your hand if you have a 3rd opinion, please). Of all the side effects of leukemia, that's the worst one to get, outside of death. He's been in ICU for a week, and tomorrow will be moved into the cancer ward.
I was in Reno when I heard the news about the stroke. I was bowling team event and looked at my phone in between games, and there was a text from his brother. I almost started crying, but held it together. I wanted to blurt out to our teammates what was going on, but it wasn't the right time, and I didn't have all the info yet. I think he inspired me because I ended up bowling much better than I normally do. But really all I wanted to do was leave and get on a plane to Burbank.
He was in good care, and I was told they'd let me know if there were any turns for the worse. Thankfully there were none. I returned home Thursday, then drove out Friday around noon. I headed straight to the hospital and have never been so simultaneously glad and upset to be in one. One one hand, I was glad he was alive, breathing (through a tube, ICK!), and able to take me as a visitor. On the down side, I was beside myself that such an athletic, fit person such as Marc could be afflicted by something like this. HEY GOD, HE'S MY FRIEND AND DOESN'T DESERVE THIS!
Throughout the weekend, Marc saw many visitors. Unfortunately, that's not the best for him because his brain is trying too much to be "normal" when what he really needed was rest and quiet. I felt guilty because I saw him late Friday, and then twice on Saturday. Sunday I held off until 5:45 pm or so, and was so glad to spend over an hour with him alone. I couldn't help but feel good though, because he had made marked improvements since my Friday visit. I knew he was healing, and that is what's important. We talked about sports, women, Rocco (his dog), his house; the normal stuff we would if none of this had happened. He even wanted to turn on the TV to watch a bit of the opening night of baseball season. He hadn't wanted the TV on at all before that, his family said.
Marc and I are opposites in many ways. Physically for sure; he's always been on the skinny side.
Only in the last few years has he been able to gain weight, and with me losing, joked that we would pass each other soon. He always asked about my diet, and if low carbing would help him gain. It could, but he's such a picky eater, he would probably not come close to eating enough each day.
Our career paths have always been different. He's probably the most motivated person I've ever known. He's owned a few businesses, and even though they didn't all pan out, he gave them good runs and he learned a lot about what's needed to succeed, and about himself. Me, I don't switch employers often, and prefer the comfort of a big company, with limited chance for great wealth, but ample security. For God's sake, he didn't even like LOTR and only watched half of the first movie.
I guess what I'm saying above is that I love this man probably more than I love myself, and would be crushed if he was gone from the world. Driving across the border into the Golden State always meant a visit was imminent. I sure hope that continues.
Now the good news: I am confident he will beat this, and all will return to almost-normal, and eventually almost-normal becomes normal and we go on living our lives like nothing happened. We have plenty of good times to come.
So how did you spend your Spring Break?
