Cranberries Cocktail

The world (or at least the U.S.) is obsessed with zombies.  Yes, they are the coolest of all horror threats and no, I don't know why it took so long for them to become popular.  My first encounter with these undead mutes was in an episode of Kolchak: The Night Stalker, a kitschy-yet-groundbreaking late night horror/suspense series from mid 70s.  Darren McGavin's bad-luck investigative reporter-turned-monster hunter has a creepy encounter in a junkyard with the mother of all zombies.  All Kolchak needs to do to neutralize the threat is creep up to the sleeping giant, pour salt in its mouth, and sew it shut.  Sounds easy, right?

Me, entering Krispy Kreme

I was probably 9 or 10 when I saw that episode, and it scared the shit out of me, so much that I've remembered it vividly.  When I pulled the clip to view it just now, it was exactly as I remembered. Pretty good for a guy who can't remember where he put his keys an hour ago.

Aside:  The zombie in the above story is of the voodoo faith, not the bit-and-for-some-unknown-reason-comes-back-to-life kind.  Are there any stories out there that combine the two?  Do you think they'd get along well?  The Haitian zombies are created by magic, and often made to do their masters' bidding.  They don't just kill anyone and everyone all willy-nilly like the Walking Dead ilk. What if a modern zombie was a juju priest and had a zombie slave prior to his/her death?  Would that slave continue to serve the master?  I feel there is quite a bit to explore on this subject.

When I was in high school (GO EAGLES!), we had a brunch period.  A 10-spot between 2nd and 3rd period, usually about 9:45 a.m.  It was during brunch when the cafeteria crew rolled out mobile carts that sold milk and a delicious treat - the cheese zombie.  They usually were offered with a choice of white or yellow cheese.  The best part was the light 'n' airy dough, slathered with a thick layer of salted butter (a ruse to boost milk/soda sales, I'm sure!).  They sure hit the spot, especially on cold days.  Now though, all I need is a bright soul to tell me why they're called zombies.

So, back to my original topic, which I forgot to mention until now:  It's a sesnsitive, personal issue that I really am unsure about revealing to the world.  My thoughts on the subject run deep, and have been brewing inside me for many months, if not years.  I've turned a corner in my life recently, and now I realize that HOLY SHIT IS TODAY TAX DAY?  I HAVE 80 MINUTES TO GET MY TAX FORMS FILLED OUT AND MAILED AT THE POST OFFICE! FUCKFUCKFUCK WHY DID I FORGET? gotta go bye

If I Throw Out The Fish and Frozen Peas, I Can Fit More Ice Cream in There

Did you ever hear the saying "Inside every fat person, there's a skinny one trying to get out?" Well how skinny are we talking?  I'm on a mission to meet that person.  Will he be like a Fight-Clubbing Brad Pitt?  A Sally Struthers hard luck case Christian Bale from The Machinist?  Or nicotine fiend Matt Damon from that crappy Desert Storm movie?  (Career advice to Meg Ryan: Tom Hanks or Billy Crystal=yes; everyone else=no)  As long as the skinny in-me isn't played by Jonah Hill, I'm okay with it.

Maybe it's just me, but it seems in my world, people are starting to pay more attention to their obesity.  Oh we always know someone who's on a quest to lose a few, that is a given.  However in the past few years I have at least 6 friends/acquaintances who've managed extreme loss (100+ lbs) through various methods.  (The fact that I know 6 people who needed to lose that much seems bizarre - the anomaly becomes the norm?)  Some changed their eating habits and exercised regularly.  Some had some type of food-restrictive surgery.  The results generally have been very positive, with at least one case being absolutely amazing.

Myself, I've been riding the fat kid pony my whole life.  I don't think I've ever been normal weight, according to any established guidelines.  I've been "husky" at times, and also been told that as soon as a growth spurt hits, my fat will be redistributed to create a more pleasing shape.  Lies, all lies.

So for 40-odd years I've been planning to make my move.  I wish I could say I've been planning well. I've attempted diet & exercise routines about 3-4 times as an adult.  Each time I had great results initially, but eventually went astray (just for today, I swear!), then resigned myself to failure (only realizing it after the lost pounds had returned).

Then something totally out of the blue happened.  Something I never in a million years thought would happen to me.  I found something useful on the internet.

Cliffhanger, y'all.

Burger Girl, We Hardly Knew Ye

So a while back (within 2 years - I have the world's worst memory, ask my ex GFs), I drove by a not-yet-open restaurant named Burger Girl.  They had a sign & a cool mudflap girl logo but that was about it.  It was located in a nondescript shopping center between The Egg & I and Chipotle on W. Sahara.

I discovered this whilst at lunch, and as soon as I returned to my desk, googled them.  3 locations in Texas, and 1 (Coming Soon!) in Las Vegas.  Huh.

The first thing that went through my mind was "what are they thinking!?!"  The Sahara/Decatur intersection has seen dozens of businesses close shop in the past 2 years.  If chains like Red Robin, Chilis & Black Angus can't weather this stormy economy, what is the likelihood a small biz newcomer could?  Sure the rent might have been cheap, but you're going to need some customers to pay the rent.  Best to pay a little more for a location that is in proximity to where people gather.

When the (Coming Soon!) was not soon enough for my tastes, I emailed the BG HQ to ask them to hurry that shit up.  They replied it would be a few more months.  Okay, fine.

A half-dozen months pass, and I send another email.   No reply this time.  I noticed their website had been updated to show only 2 current locations, plus the ever-lovin' (Coming Soon!).  Sadly in the last month or so, the LV location has been removed from their site, to be replaced by johnny-come-latelys Rockwall & Forney (those are names of cities, folks.  Texas y'all).

Oh well, there was a singularly stellar (1-star) review of their Dallas location, so maybe we aren't missing much.  I bet the Egg & I folks are happy (and Zia Records staff are bummed).

On the bright side, when I googled Burger Girl Las Vegas, one of the top returns led me to a nifty foodie blog called GreedyGirl.  She posts a few times a month, usually about something cool and Vegas-y, with lots of pics.

In closing:  I created this post when I should have been exercising.  I'm fucking despicable.

First!

Do you ever how wonder how many blogs are out there in the wild?  I'm not sure I remember the exact date when we decided to post our personal musings publicly rather than in a journal (that's a diary for you 14-year old girls), but  my first foray was only a few years ago.  Myself and 2 others ran a handful of affiliate marketing sites that used a blog format, but I don't really consider that true blogging.  We made a little money, for a while.  A good experience overall.

Doesn't it seem like the supply of blogs far outnumbers their demand?  I have a theory that blogs which are abandoned are actually harmful to their creators, psychologically (I am not really going to research this theory; I'd probably abandon it and cause harm to myself, psychologically).  The potential for guilt and embarrassment is huuuuuuge, when the whole world knows you only had enough creativity for 2 weeks' worth of posts.  And they weren't exactly exciting posts, either.

Personally, my goal is not to post every day, but at least once a week I'd like to enlighten you all with tales of a Rowdie life.  These tales may include:  my journey to lose 160 lbs, the time this girl I (sorta) know got on TV, bosses I love & hate, and damn it's fucking windy outside right now.