We performed a loving tribute to a man many of us adored. The organizers were all friends and family, and you would never know it wasn't handled by professionals. Everybody who had a part to play, played it perfectly. There were a multitude of tasks to accomplish this past week to get us ready, and everyone completed them as requested.
All that is great, but what really made me beam was the fact that all of Marc's loved ones were present, and the energy created by that was infused in me. I had only joyous memories of Marc with me today, and nothing of the past 6 weeks. If you had to say goodbye to your best friend, wouldn't you want that day to be perfect? Well ours was.
Below I'm posting my contribution to the "reflections" portion of the service. Each and every one of us did an outstanding job, and I am honored and overjoyed to be among them.
If Marc were here, I'm sure he would say today we're celebrating Marco de Mayo.When I first learned of the existence of Marc Brubaker, it was due to the fact that we both applied for the same job. Even though we were both avid scratch bowlers from the same area, we had never crossed paths on the lanes. We both desired to work at the area's top bowling pro shop, and Marc was hired due to the fact he could work the schedule that was needed. As luck would have it, another position at the shop became available, and I was hired too.
It wasn't long until we started getting along famously at work. We didn't bowl together at first, due to the fact that I had joined the adult ranks a few years earlier, and he stayed a junior bowler longer. Often he would come in on Monday mornings and tell me what tremendous scores he had shot during his weekend tournament, and I knew I had to go see him in action, because what he told me seemed almost unreal.
One weekend, he was participating in a tournament at the lanes where I had spent most of my youth - Clayton Valley Bowl in Concord. It was just a few miles from my home, and I decided to go watch him and see him tear it up. I arrived after about 2 games had passed, and Marc was bowling poorly. He wasn't shooting incredible numbers like I thought I'd see. He languished in the middle of the pack for the better part of the 1st four games. Marc was a bit disappointed in his performance, but was still giving it his all. I started to look at some of the scores the other bowlers were shooting, and calculated that Marc still had a chance to advance to the next round, but only if his last 2 games were fairly high.
It was at this point when I was about to learn that Marc had a huge reservoir of determination. I gave him a little encouragement, let him know that he could pull this off, and he certainly did. Those last 2 games of qualifying were of the caliber I'd heard about on those Monday mornings. At the end of the day, he'd made his way up the ladder and claimed another championship trophy. It was almost like he wasn't trying hard until I started rooting for him, and he was rewarding me for doing so.
It wasn't long until we started bowling together more often. Once we partnered up for a junior/adult tournament in Stockton. It wasn't Marc's best day, but it was one of mine. And for the record, my best days weren't nearly as phenomenal as Marc's best days. We didn't win that tournament, but we did finish near the top. Even though we weren't champions that day, I consider it one of my fondest bowling moments. Looking back on it, I think that's because I found myself useful to him. I got to hold him up when he wasn't at his best. Before the tournament began, I'd assumed he would be holding me up, and I was uncharacteriscally nervous, because I didn't want to let him down. We definitely formed a bond that day, one that has lasted for over 25 years. And because of that bond, I cherish that 5th place finish more than I do any championships I may have earned.
Now I could go on for hours recalling Marc's numerous bowling accomplishments, or the fun we had bowling scores of tournaments over the years, but I'd rather talk about simpler things, like his chewing gum. Marc was rarely without gum on his person, or in his vehicle. If we ever climbed into his SUV to head off somewhere, he'd invariably pull out a pack and offer me a stick. That doesn't sound odd or exciting, I know, but the funny thing is, I almost never accepted it. But every time he would be courteous and offer me the 1st piece, and I would decline. I think most people, after being rejected repeatedly - say 10 times in a row - would probably stop offering it. He didn't stop though, it was just his kind and hospitable nature showing. And that didn't just apply to gum, he was like that in almost all facets of his life, at least that's how I saw him.
Marc and I were opposites in many ways. He was a terribly picky eater, while I eat anything put in front of me. Our tastes in music and movies rarely crossed paths. We had few arguments, and the thing I found most special, is that none of them ever ended with any lasting hurt feelings. Once in a while we would go toe-to-toe over a topical social issue, but more than likely our most heated discussions would revolve around how important a particular piece of stereo equipment is.
I know Marc liked being involved in group activities, such as parties, camping trips, poker tournaments, and the like. For most of his adult life, he's been self-employed, so he didn't get the same type of daytime social interaction that most working people do. He didn't really have coworkers, mainly clients. I tend to be more of an introvert, and I really cherished the fact that Marc always kept things small when I came out to visit. I appreciated that he was conscientious of the fact I don't do well with large groups of people, and never pressed me into a situation I wished to avoid.
With so many admirable qualities, it was hard not to like him. He balanced being easy going, yet disciplined, and exhibited a drive to succeed more than anyone I know. I've always considered him a motivator - someone who came up with the plan, and wanted you involved with him to enact it. He most definitely was a leader, and was exemplary in his work ethic, as well as quality of work.
My entire adult life, I've considered Marc my best friend. He was the best man at the weddings of at least 2 men who are present today, and I find it truly saddening that he will not be available for me, should that day arrive.
Even though the last 6 weeks are some of the worst that many of us have ever been through, I'm filled with a muted happiness about all the great memories I have of him, and appreciative for all the support shown by his friends and loved ones. Today is a day of celebration in Marc's honor. And it most definitely was an honor to be his friend.
Here's a link to a short video that was shown at the end of the service.
In Our Hearts Forever
