Cranberries Cocktail

The world (or at least the U.S.) is obsessed with zombies.  Yes, they are the coolest of all horror threats and no, I don't know why it took so long for them to become popular.  My first encounter with these undead mutes was in an episode of Kolchak: The Night Stalker, a kitschy-yet-groundbreaking late night horror/suspense series from mid 70s.  Darren McGavin's bad-luck investigative reporter-turned-monster hunter has a creepy encounter in a junkyard with the mother of all zombies.  All Kolchak needs to do to neutralize the threat is creep up to the sleeping giant, pour salt in its mouth, and sew it shut.  Sounds easy, right?

Me, entering Krispy Kreme

I was probably 9 or 10 when I saw that episode, and it scared the shit out of me, so much that I've remembered it vividly.  When I pulled the clip to view it just now, it was exactly as I remembered. Pretty good for a guy who can't remember where he put his keys an hour ago.

Aside:  The zombie in the above story is of the voodoo faith, not the bit-and-for-some-unknown-reason-comes-back-to-life kind.  Are there any stories out there that combine the two?  Do you think they'd get along well?  The Haitian zombies are created by magic, and often made to do their masters' bidding.  They don't just kill anyone and everyone all willy-nilly like the Walking Dead ilk. What if a modern zombie was a juju priest and had a zombie slave prior to his/her death?  Would that slave continue to serve the master?  I feel there is quite a bit to explore on this subject.

When I was in high school (GO EAGLES!), we had a brunch period.  A 10-spot between 2nd and 3rd period, usually about 9:45 a.m.  It was during brunch when the cafeteria crew rolled out mobile carts that sold milk and a delicious treat - the cheese zombie.  They usually were offered with a choice of white or yellow cheese.  The best part was the light 'n' airy dough, slathered with a thick layer of salted butter (a ruse to boost milk/soda sales, I'm sure!).  They sure hit the spot, especially on cold days.  Now though, all I need is a bright soul to tell me why they're called zombies.

So, back to my original topic, which I forgot to mention until now:  It's a sesnsitive, personal issue that I really am unsure about revealing to the world.  My thoughts on the subject run deep, and have been brewing inside me for many months, if not years.  I've turned a corner in my life recently, and now I realize that HOLY SHIT IS TODAY TAX DAY?  I HAVE 80 MINUTES TO GET MY TAX FORMS FILLED OUT AND MAILED AT THE POST OFFICE! FUCKFUCKFUCK WHY DID I FORGET? gotta go bye